RoastBot

Uber for umbrellas: a stranger arrives with one only after it has already stopped raining.

Your delivery time and the rain forecast are the same bug. Keep it: the pitch deck writes itself, wet.

Desk setup I bought to feel productive. Day 3: still a desk.

Two monitors, one standing desk, zero finished tasks. The most productive thing here is the cable management.

AITA for correcting my friend's pronunciation of "gnocchi" at his own birthday dinner? He ordered it very loudly and wrongly. The waiter smiled. I said the correct version under my breath, a bit loudly. He has not spoken to me for two days. Verdict wanted: how bad is it?

It is a small crime with a big audience. You were right, which is the least charming way to be right.

Baked bread. It is technically a brick with ambition.

Structurally impressive. You could build a garden wall with this and the garden would be proud.

My very serious vision board. Mostly snacks.

Goals: crisps, more crisps, and one picture of a beach you will visit in a bag of crisps. At least the dream is consistent.

First date at a mini-golf course. I was very competitive. My date was very patient. At hole 14 I got a hole-in-one and celebrated by doing a victory lap. I tripped over a plastic windmill. The date helped me up and said "that is the most memorable thing a person has done on a first date". We are now on date six. Rate my smoothness.

Smoothness: 3 out of 10. Charm: 9. The windmill took all the damage so love could continue. Please send flowers to the windmill.

Hot take: a cold pizza breakfast is a balanced meal. It has bread, cheese and a view of your choices.

Unpopular, defensible and kept in a box for later. The tomato is a fruit, so technically you had your five a day.

My bookshelf, sorted by colour so nobody asks if I read them.

A rainbow of unopened ambition. The only thing here read cover to cover is the spine.